Can't Sleep......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I haven't had a night like this in quite some time. I normally can fall asleep so quickly, but a lot has been on my mind lately. Work is so stressful right now, which I think that at my level, it shouldn't be. I think that I will just leave work at that... as much as I would love to go on and on about it.

Relationships.....

......well, it has been two months now since Tim and I broke up. It is interesting because time has really flown. I can't believe how quickly two months came. To be honest, I am very happy to be out of that relationship. I didn't realize how unhappy I was until it was over. Here I was thinking that Tim was this ultimate guy for me and that this was it. Yet, I was always wishing for more in the back of my mind. I wanted to be loved and cared for even if I am independent and can take care of myself. I wanted to be wanted and he surely did not give me that.

I have not been on one single date since we broke up. It is not that I don't want to, because I do. It is just really hard to meet anyone, let alone a guy that I want to start a relationship with. I guess I can say I am ready for a relationship, but when will they be ready for me? Maybe I don't carry myself with the confidence that I think I do??? To be honest, and not to be over the top, but I think I am attractive. Now you never would have heard that from me 2 years ago! I never saw myself as pretty. Yet, lately, I have learned to love the person I am and I don't think I am that bad. However, rejection is cruel and can ultimately shut me down sometimes. I try to take it as, there is someone else out there for me, but at times it is hard to be rejected.

I know that there is a guy out there for me that will treat me right and think that I am beautiful. I guess it is just a matter of time. I can be patient, but I do miss having a best friend. That was one good thing about Tim, we had a lot in common and had fun hanging out together. If I can take anything away from that relationship it would be that. I know I will find someone who will have just as much fun or more with me, and who will treat me like a queen. :)

I am excited to find my next guy. Let the adventure begin!!!

Living.....

.....well, my next step in life is to buy a home! Yikes! I can't even believe that I have thought about it... but with the market the way it is, I think it is a good idea. Of course, we will see if a bank will actually lend to me.... even with good credit, I am sure it will be rough.

Well, I think I am actually starting to feel tired. Until next time. Live, Love, Laugh!