I am so lost right now. I am trying so hard to establish longing friendships and a life here, but it seems to be more and more challenging everyday. People that I think are close friends, really are not. God how I miss the close friendships that I had with my New Jersey friends and my Montana friends. Why is it so hard? Lately I probably sound like an annoying robot... "it is hard to make friends, all my friends work at my job, etc." Well, it is very true. All my friends work at my job because it is tough making friends in the first place. I have a few people I know outside of work, but we rarely see each other.
I want to buy a house this next year, but do I really want to stay somewhere where it is so hard to even establish a good friendship. What the heck. I know I complain about it too much, I know this. I don't mean too, nor do I mean to share it with anyone at work. No one understands anyway. They all have their established friendships. The problem is is that I spent two years with Tim and he was my best friend and therefore I didn't give time to establish great friendships with others... now most people I know are in serious relationships/married/or simply are too busy. When you are too busy to hang out with a supposed friend, then perhaps you aren't as good as a friend as you thought.... meaning that I tend to think some of my friends are great friends, but their lives are too busy. I know I am getting older and this was bound to happen, but I didn't think it would be this hard. I wish I didn't feel like crap about it but I do. I hate getting older and I hate that I don't have a best friend where I live. I think I just hate today. ~eh, life goes on right!?
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