I ended up in New Jersey and making the most awesome friends that could never be replaced. I have never found such connections like I did there. If I could give anything to have that again, I would! I grew up there. I learned how to stick up for myself and to become more independent. I learned all about parenting without being a parent. I experienced Europe and traveled the U.S. I became me. Yet who was I?
Life has had its ups and downs and along the way I have learned from each and every experience. I learned that if you want something done, you sometimes have to do it yourself, but it is okay to accept help. I learned that you could go on a thousand dates before finding someone that you are remotely interested in and even then they might not like you back but know that someday some guy will. I learned that you are just one of millions of people and you better have connections and talent or life is going to be just a little harder. I've learned that it's important to listen and not to speak so much. It's important to take a step back and realize that it may not be what you think it is. I have also realized that loss is agonizing and that sometimes that hurt comes back.
Since I moved to Minnesota 3 years ago I have grown even more. I have become more confident and have realized that relationships are two sided. Friendships, boyfriends, family... those relationships work both ways, and after a while, if what I give isn't given back, I know that perhaps it is time to stop worrying so much and know that they were in your life for a reason.
Ten years later I have grown to be me... the person I always was, but better. I worked hard to get two degrees, own a home and to be happy. I may not have the husband, kids and teaching job that I wanted, but some day I might. You just never know where life will take you, but in the meantime, enjoy the ride.
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